Dynamics of Power Exchange in Sexuality
A need to devour, punish, humiliate or surrender seems to be a primal part of human nature, and it's certainly a big part of sex. - Charlotte Rampling
Direct and Indirect Sexual Dominance Defined
Direct sexual dominance is where both participants know that there is an explicit dominant and explicit submissive. The dominant generally gives direct concise instructions
Indirect sexual dominance is where there is not explicit dominant and no explicit submissive. The dominant generally controls by indirect means. The submissive in particular may not be aware that there is a dominant-submissive dynamic.
Direct Female Sexual Dominance Example - bdsmlr [1]
- Be his dream to rule him, but also be his hell on occasion and rule him deeper.
- Just wait for them to fail and then whip then for it
- If you are going to allow it, make it difficult
- It takes 30 days to form a habit. Have him do something helpful, fun, or important to you once or twice every day and chances are even a male will get good at it.
- Thanking me for every punishment a humiliation soon became second nature to him
- In case you want to introduce your FLR step by step, probably the best cover to do so is under the guise of sexual experimentation. Start by stripping him naked, sit on top of him, start stroking his cock, and you will slowly take command; speak to him, ask him questions, tell him things as a matter of fact; once he is really horny, you'll be surprised what he will tell you, how he will open up, and how he will be much more open to your "suggestions". Of course you can have him pleasure you in the process but all of this is not so much to please him, it is to learn how to manipulate him, shift power. It's an investment, which will pay ample dividends later for you as you lead him down a path of loving but firm FLR if not total control over him.
- A sexually charged, yet mostly denied male is easy to control and direct.
- Once intrigued by us, males respond well to confidence, chastity, clear/curse commands, control, and consequences. And random acts of kindness
- Find out what he really hopes for. That hope, whatever it is, can be used to motivate him.
- Deep down, he wants to serve you, but can't just hand himself over. You have to take it.
- Deep down they want to feel enough trust and desire to submit or be "forced" to submit.
- Deep down they know they crave for us to control them.
- Enjoy your controlling side. Give him the oppressive regime he needs.
- If males were meant to rule, how come they have been given balls in the first place, how come they have been placed so accessible on the outside, how come they fit so perfectly into the palm of our hands?.
- Be specific in what you want him to do. Tell him. Train him.
- Most of them like you to take real charge. Don't be timid. Push them deep, be a demanding bitch, throw in some arousal,
- Don't play to his wish list, but know and use his fetishes to break him.
- Tease and tell is an excellent way to get through to him. Denial and humiliation can go nicely hand in hand.
- Our ongoing and ever tightening Dominance over our male(s) Erodes its limits, steadily replacing its inhibitions and fears with the burning need to please Us, and the fear of Our Displeasure.
- The male's subsiding into submission to you is sealed by your Cruel Words, Leveraging his vulnerabilities, fantasies, and kinks to bring him inevitably and irreversibly beneath your Rule and beneath your Feet.
- There is joy in surrender to a Strong, Sadistic Woman, Confident in Her Right to Rule, Aware of Her Natural Superiority, and Cruel enough to break his body, mind and spirit to Her Will and Pleasure.
Indirect Female Sexual Dominance Example - "Femininity" - Arlene Dahl [2]
A love affair requires infinite care and attention to detail, whether or not it ends at the altar. Here are some ideas to encourage romance:
- Be subtle: Don't throw yourself at a man. They are essentially timid creatures and will break and run from frontal attack. Men must be reassured and gentled before they are tamed.
- Be selective: Don't turn on the full charge for every man you meet. Practice the art of flirtation, but save your advanced techniques for the man.
- Don't rush: Take it easy. Let the first date be a get acquainted session. Be relaxed, friendly and interested, but not effusive.
- Be a good listener: Encourage him to talk about himself. Never interrupt his stories, and always show a real interest in the accounts of his triumphs in business or on the high school football team.
- Be mysterious: Don't boast about all the other men who are in love with you, or reminisce about past conquests. Let him guess.
- Be feminine: Let him light your cigarette and open doors for you. If he isn't quick to offer these little attentions, wait. Most women are so self-sufficient that a man would have to be jet-propelled to perform these little courtesies first.
- Be fair: For your own peace of mind, if nothing else, play the game of love by sporting rules. Don't try to steal another girl's boyfriend or another woman's husband. It seldom pays. As the other woman, you are at a distinct disadvantage. You cannot feel serene and confident when you know you are the third angle of a triangle.
- Be thoughtful: Remember your manners if you expect him to remember his. Never forget to say thank you for a pleasant evening. Show your appreciation for his thoughtfulness when he remembers your favorite perfume or has the orchestra play "your" song.
- Be a lady and you'll be treated accordingly. A man expects the girl to set the tempo and establish the mood. Any girl with a modicum of common sense and tact can control a man's actions, unless she's out with a sex maniac.
- Keep your self-respect: Don't accept the frequently proposed male theory that if he spends money taking you to dinner or the theater, you must pay him back by inviting him in for a nightcap. He doesn't have to be the man who stays for breakfast. He'll appreciate you more if you put a high value on yourself and your own integrity.
Replace instant sex with instant allure and its romantic promise. .
Common Concepts and Action Verbs
Direct and indirect mehtods of sexuel dominance are functionally equivalent. For example, the following concepts and action words appear in both sets of instructions
- Take charge
- Control via guise of sexual experimentation
- Manipulation
- Men are timid
- Women control men's actions
- Allure and promise = tease and deny
Notes
[1] https://howtobreakyourhusband.bdsmlr.com/search/punishment
[2] Dahl, Arlene. Always Ask a Man: Arlene Dahl's Key to Femininity. Prentice-Hall International, 1965.