Dynamics of Power Exchange in Sexuality

A need to devour, punish, humiliate or surrender seems to be a primal part of human nature, and it's certainly a big part of sex. - Charlotte Rampling

Direct and Indirect Sexual Dominance Defined

Direct sexual dominance is where both participants know that there is an explicit dominant and explicit submissive. The dominant generally gives direct concise instructions

Indirect sexual dominance is where there is not explicit dominant and no explicit submissive. The dominant generally controls by indirect means. The submissive in particular may not be aware that there is a dominant-submissive dynamic.

Direct Female Sexual Dominance Example - bdsmlr [1]

Indirect Female Sexual Dominance Example - "Femininity" - Arlene Dahl [2]

A love affair requires infinite care and attention to detail, whether or not it ends at the altar. Here are some ideas to encourage romance:
  1. Be subtle: Don't throw yourself at a man. They are essentially timid creatures and will break and run from frontal attack. Men must be reassured and gentled before they are tamed.
  2. Be selective: Don't turn on the full charge for every man you meet. Practice the art of flirtation, but save your advanced techniques for the man.
  3. Don't rush: Take it easy. Let the first date be a get acquainted session. Be relaxed, friendly and interested, but not effusive.
  4. Be a good listener: Encourage him to talk about himself. Never interrupt his stories, and always show a real interest in the accounts of his triumphs in business or on the high school football team.
  5. Be mysterious: Don't boast about all the other men who are in love with you, or reminisce about past conquests. Let him guess.
  6. Be feminine: Let him light your cigarette and open doors for you. If he isn't quick to offer these little attentions, wait. Most women are so self-sufficient that a man would have to be jet-propelled to perform these little courtesies first.
  7. Be fair: For your own peace of mind, if nothing else, play the game of love by sporting rules. Don't try to steal another girl's boyfriend or another woman's husband. It seldom pays. As the other woman, you are at a distinct disadvantage. You cannot feel serene and confident when you know you are the third angle of a triangle.
  8. Be thoughtful: Remember your manners if you expect him to remember his. Never forget to say thank you for a pleasant evening. Show your appreciation for his thoughtfulness when he remembers your favorite perfume or has the orchestra play "your" song.
  9. Be a lady and you'll be treated accordingly. A man expects the girl to set the tempo and establish the mood. Any girl with a modicum of common sense and tact can control a man's actions, unless she's out with a sex maniac.
  10. Keep your self-respect: Don't accept the frequently proposed male theory that if he spends money taking you to dinner or the theater, you must pay him back by inviting him in for a nightcap. He doesn't have to be the man who stays for breakfast. He'll appreciate you more if you put a high value on yourself and your own integrity.

Replace instant sex with instant allure and its romantic promise. .

Common Concepts and Action Verbs

Direct and indirect mehtods of sexuel dominance are functionally equivalent. For example, the following concepts and action words appear in both sets of instructions


[1] https://howtobreakyourhusband.bdsmlr.com/search/punishment

[2] Dahl, Arlene. Always Ask a Man: Arlene Dahl's Key to Femininity. Prentice-Hall International, 1965.